Salutations dearly devoted followers of the Fyrd! All 2 of you. Just kidding. We’re up to 11 now. That’s more than the Fellowship of the Ring ever had. Take that, hobbits!

Woohoo! Let’s Fyrd some stuff up!

It being a new year and all, I suppose I must hop on the bandwagon (longboat?) and post something about resolutions or something or another. I’m not much of one for bowing to social conventions and expectations, but I’ve been badgered and reprimanded many a time by people for not being a good social butterfly. Fine, fine, I’ll bite. Below you’ll find a brief list of resolutions (and humorous details) that I plan on doing this year, come hell or high water. People still say that, right?

• Write more often: I do enjoy writing; it calms the nerves and allows me to put down my thoughts. Granted, not everyone needs to know what goes on in my head, but sometimes it’s nice to simply state my mind via putting pen to paper/finger to keyboard. I should attempt a minimum of three blog updates a week. Perhaps we’ll move up to daily postings? I’m a very finicky writer with peculiar tastes and habits, but that needn’t mean I forego writing simply because the mood isn’t correct. Hell, even if I’m not feeling it, I should still write. Writing is all about growing, and what better way to do that than to constantly write?

• Commit to working out: Stop dilly dallying and do some push-ups, fatass.

• Attempt to learn tact and kindness: It’s not that I’m a mean person, or I’m intentionally rude, it’s just that I never possessed tact. I’ve always called ‘em like I see ‘em, but most folks don’t take too kindly to that. That’s why I was an awful salesman at Dillard’s; I couldn’t lie to people and convince them to buy clothing they didn’t need. And women especially dislike the lack of sugar coating. No doubt a significant reason as to why I’m still quite single (not that I’m complaining; merely stating an observable fact). So let’s give this whole “empathy” thing a shot and see how that goes.

• Save money: America is in quite a sticky economic situation. I don’t care in the least for politics because they’re all mostly a bunch of charlatans, but until they get their shit together and do something about the nation’s demise, I will need to tighten my belt a little more. I’m already a miser, but there are some things I can cut back on still further. Yes, I have a good job and make good pay, but you never know when something could happen that requires your savings fund to be utilized. Let’s save a wee bit more cash this year.

-Insert Jew joke here-

• Death to Facebook: Quitting Facebook is the adult equivalent of running away as a child. You’ll probably be back. And if you’re not, everyone assumes you died. I am considering getting rid of the Facebook because:

1. I don’t know/appreciate/care/like/make nuptials with/adore/or concern myself with most people on there as is. Sure, it’s a handy tool for keeping track of long lost contacts, but then again, so is a phone. Plus I have this neato little blog where I can be myself without fear of Grandma seeing it.
2. I waste far too much time on there posting stupid/mean/irrelevant things. Frankly, no one really cares about my opinions because I’m just an average joe, nor do I especially care about others’ opinions. See point 1 above.
3. It’s the ultimate time sink. When I should be working, researching, or doing something useful with the Internet, I find myself looking at baby photos and half-assed political infographics. I hate your baby. There. I said it. No one cares that your kid uses the toilet. I can use the toilet. Until your baby can arm wrestle a bear, I don’t care.
   

   I like this baby. This baby may stay.

   And all those halfwits that post their infographics with misinformed statistics and quotes? Yeah, fall in a pit. I think I’d be a nicer person without Facebook. I figure I’ll phase it out here in a week or so. Disseminate my phone number, blog, and email address for folks. And then? Slay the Facebook dragon.

• Focus on discipline: Discipline. I lack it. I spend too much time dicking around online when I should be doing tech writing. I play video games when I should be running. I eat too much when I should be eating healthier. I don’t cover up all my fingerprints after disposing of a hooker.  I quit smoking for two weeks and start up again. I don’t write often enough, read challenging material, or limit my spending habits. Discipline is really the foundation of everything I do, yet I’m lacking in it. Hell, this should be my only resolution because everything else stems from it. Disciprine. I rack it.

• Participate in the New Ulster Steel Fighting program: Harking back to a blurb I wrote a while ago, I really want to do this. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be in the Fort Worth area (hopefully not too long…) so this one will have to happen somewhat swiftly. I’m entirely enamored with their program and blog (I suggest following it, mortals), thus I am making it a point of order to get myself down to Waco and having a go at it. Sword play? Don’t mind if I do.

• Try my hand at dating: I have been officially single since April 2011. I haven’t gone on a single date since. Oh sure, I’ve been around females in date-like settings but I cannot recall a single instance where I felt it was a legitimate date, or had any intentions of pursuing an actual relationship. Which is probably a good thing considering I’m a very awful peculiar person. Rather than continuing my descent into Crazy Cat Man, I suppose I should get out there and meet people with whom I could have a potential connection. Ladies, I’ve been out of the game for a long time and I’m already socially inept, so bear with me here.

• Go to more concerts: This isn’t really in keeping with my saving money bit I mentioned, but man oh man, I like love rock concerts. I saw Rammstein last year back in May and had an absolute blast. Two summers before that I saw Rob Zombie, Korn, Five Finger Death Punch, and a few other metal bands in Dallas. It was totes. Yeah, I used totes to describe my affinity for metal. I plan on catching Turisas in Dallas at the end of February. Paganfest will be announcing tour dates sometime this month. Maybe Nekrogoblikon will be coming out this way. And Rammstein is rumored to be coming back this year as well! Just being there and catching the music live is quite the experience. In short, I need more dakka.

And there we have it. A list of things to achieve this year. Maybe not the best list of resolutions or goals, but then again, I don’t mind. It’s my list after all. Here’s to new things, eh? Happy New Year, devoted followers! Now let us engage in jolly co-operation and achieve some goals!

If only I could be so grossly incandescent.